Recognizing the Chaos & Calling It Out!

This is day 3 of my 30 day journey to find Clarity, embrace Simplicity and get back to the Basics.

In my last 2 posts, I have tiptoed around what truly lies behind my quest. Perhaps that’s part of the process. I’ve been in denial for so long, that now I’m almost fearful to publicly admit the truth. So here it is…in a “not-so” nut shell.

I have been blessed with a husband, 8 children, artistic talent, career goals and aspirations. (Yes…I did just say eight children!) As a result, I wear many hats. I am a wife, a mother, a floral designer, a writer, a business owner, a daughter, a sister and a friend. Regardless of how much I long for one, there’s never a still moment.

I’ve never been one to use marriage and motherhood as an excuse to place my personal dreams on hold. In fact, I’ve always used it to fuel my passions…to ignite my creative spark. I want my children to see their mother as a woman who is loyal, strong, driven and passionate–A woman who can be fully present for them, as well as continue to develop as an individual. And I want my husband to be proud of my accomplishments and rejoice in my endeavors, knowing that he has a wife who lives life on purpose. After all, he married me for the person I am, and I’m certain he would want me to be true to my uniqueness, always.

My plate is larger than most, and it is always full. And there are certain things that just cannot be removed. My husband and children have a permanent position on my platter; they’re supposed to, and I like it that way. My floral design business, this blog and my quest to move from being a writer to a published author all take prime real estate on that platter, as well. Anything else that requires my time and talents but does not assist me in moving forward in developing my brand is Chaos…sheer CHAOS!

NO CHAOS by alles-schlumpf

NO CHAOS by alles-schlumpf

At this stage of my business, I have diagnosed myself as having Starving Artist Syndrome. The treatment…freelance writing work, and lots of it. Honestly, too much of it. So much, in fact, that it consumes my time and talents, and I find myself laboring over obligations that have me feeling disconnected and uninspired. Let’s face it; these freelance jobs are designed to catapult the successes of the individuals for whom I do the work–not for my business.

I also seem to have this uncanny inability to say “No.” New projects and ventures are presented to me and I cannot, for the life of me, seem to say, “Thanks for thinking of me, but no.” And it’s not like they’re horrible mistakes…they’re actually wonderful opportunities…for someone else. For me, they are distractions that will only serve to deter me from my goals, steer me off course, and drown out my purpose.

Clarity is no new concept for me. I had recently moved away from doing all freelance work so that I could focus, intently, on growing my brand, Creole Magnolia Creations. Then slowly, I began adding more and more and more to my once manageable plate. Now, deadlines for the projects of others have taken precedence over my own commitments, and my mind has become bogged down and overloaded with the impossible burden of juggling it all.

This Chaos is paralyzing, as I have become stagnant in my purpose, and my ability to move forward has waned.

But, I see hope…

As someone with the need to always be in control, it takes courage for me to admit that I am overburdened and stressed. But I realize that a sliver of Simplicity is far more appetizing than a plate full of uncontrolled bedlam.

So this is me…fearlessly Recognizing the Chaos and Calling It Out!

Using this blog challenge to find Clarity, Simplicity and the Basics!

Using this blog challenge to find Clarity, Simplicity and the Basics!



18 thoughts on “Recognizing the Chaos & Calling It Out!

  1. Pingback: “I Gotta” Get Off of this Runaway Train | Creole Magnolia Café

  2. I love the way you write, it’s like you are chatting with me over coffee.

    I applaud your passion to move forward towards YOUR dream. I am now learning life will not slow down to give me an opportunity to work on me or my business. You have to take the time and make the time.

    Your post makes me feel like I have a buddy in this mission towards success. I am looking forward to your next post.

    • Thank you Stephanie! I happen to adore coffee! 😉 It’s such a gratifying feeling when you shed light on your feelings and you discover that you are not alone. I’m happy we can journey together on this. We are gonna be unstoppable! 🙂 Yay Us!

  3. wow 8 kids and supermom!! i am building the foundation for a family in the future and also don’t want to lose my sense of identity and purpose when the time comes to be mama. so i love your style and i can certainly relate to starving artist syndrome and how its hard to say no!! i just turned down what could have been a good opportunity the other day… but i follow my intuition and say no if it leaves me feeling icky somehow. then i know its not the right opportunity for ME.

    • Thank you, Antoinette! I am so happy that I stumbled upon this challenge! Not only is it giving me the opportunity to defeat chaos and claim clarity, but also it’s brought fantastic, supportive people like you into my life. And for that, I am so thankful!

  4. I appreciate your article. Chaos is the sweetest thing about family, life and careers. I don’t know why we allow one to stop the other. Our husbands and kids need us, not who they or others think we should be! Blessing to you in all that your chaos brings!

  5. Open. Sincere. Realistic. And, yes, admitted the stress and being burdened takes courage to reflect. However, one of the comments that I appreciated in the article is this…

    “My husband and children have a permanent position on my platter; they’re supposed to, and I like it that way.”

    That deserved applause!

    All the best to you in the days ahead,


  6. When you have a hard time learning how to say no, you find your life becomes cluttered, and you’re at fault, because you’re much too nice.

    It’s happened to me a few times, but as a perpetual and self-labeled brat, I always love it when I finally get to say, “no.”

    I love this post. I hope you are able to acknowledge the Chaos and then find great ways to tackle it!
    Mae recently posted…Day in the Life: Letter to a Stuffed AnimalMy Profile

    • Thank you, Mae! Yes, it is nice to be able to be bratty every now and then! “No!” “What about me?!” “I want it my way!” LOL! Okay, maybe I won’t go THAT far, but I will definitely start placing my needs much higher on the priority list! And tackle this Chaos, I shall!

    • Leanne, such a good question. And that is precisely what I’m trying to find out. Am I afraid? Am I afraid of failing? Of succeeding? Or am I just greedy since I continue to pile up more onto my plate?
      By the time this 30 challenge is complete, I plan to have a clear answer! Aha! There’s that clarity again!
      Thank you for sharing in this with me. I truly appreciate you!

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