Disclaimer: Today’s post is throwing all fear out of the window…I’m about to be real, so brace yourselves!…..
Somehow women are duped into believing that feelings or expressions of discontent, frustration, irritation, sadness or dissatisfaction all convey unappreciation, unthankfulness, complaining and downright b*!$%iness (you know what I mean). We are convinced that no one else can possibly understand, and, if we share what troubles us, then we will be subject to ridicule and judgment. As a result, we hold in our true feelings in fear that others will misunderstand our intentions. We fear being ousted. So we go through the motions as if everything is just dandy–living our cookie-cutter lives–thinking we need to smile all of the time because Suzy Q. Homemaker is doing it.
Is it so wrong to be real? To be honest? To share with other women the feelings that we all have experienced at one time or another? We should be able to do that without fear of being “The only one.” And usually, we only intend to vent or communicate how we are feeling at the moment. Our “in this moment” feelings do not mean that we feel these things all of the time. And it certainly doesn’t mean that we are incapable of seeing the blessings in our lives.
We are made to feel like we need to Grin and bear it, Suck it up, Take one for the team, or simply just Get over it.
NEWSFLASH! We are entitled to say it like it is, to share our woes and to express ourselves without the worry..without the fear. In fact, if more of us came together and shared honestly, then we would find comfort in knowing that we are not alone and there is an entire sisterhood in our corners.
How many times has a friend asked you how things are going and you lied and said everything was great? How many times were you ready to spill your guts and let it all hang out, but, instead, you held it in with a smile?
When you bottle it up, it finds a release. When you sweep it under the rug, you, eventually, trip over the hump.
You’re going along. You think you’re fine…You’re maintaining.
And then it hits you…
That is a…Woman Amnesia Moment!
You look around and wonder, “Where am I? How did I get here?”
You look in the mirror and you don’t recognize who’s staring back at you. And you say, “Who are you? What is your purpose?”
You look at the person next to you and think, “Who the hell are you? Where did you come from? Why the hell are you here?”
You look at the once precious babies that the doctor gently placed in your arms and think, “Who are you defiant creatures? Where are those sweet babies?”
You look around again and wonder, “What is all this chaos? And why are you people draining me dry?”
Even after doing what I feel is much work on myself and my purpose…even after exploring all that is me and working towards discovering my path, I still feel these things from time-to-time.
Sometimes, I feel tired. I feel drained. I feel overused. I feel helpless. I feel trapped. I feel uninspired. I feel alone. I feel saddened.
And that is okay. I do not have to make apologies for feeling out-of-place…disconnected…falling without a net. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care. It doesn’t mean that I don’t cherish. It doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel blessed, thankful, or gratitude.
It just means that I am human. It just means that I need a sympathic ear. It just means that I need a shoulder…a friend…good advice.
What’s the cure for a case of Woman Amnesia Moment? I don’t know. Maybe just the things I mentioned above…understanding, compassion, comradery…
The challenge is letting go of the fear and being honest with one another when we share our feelings and needs. Women can only be there for one another if there is honesty with no shame.
If we surround ourselves with a NETWORK of like-minded, supportive, good-spirited sisters, then we will surely have less WAM! episodes.
And, in case you were wondering, I am currently experiencing WAM!
And, so it just it hit me…
I need to build my network.