Tag Archive | Creole Magnolia Creations

The Giver, Part 2: Confirmations, Trust and Newfound Clarity

I was obedient. I followed what I know God put on my heart (and, oddly enough, in the fortune cookie). I was obedient. I wrote, and I sketched. Ultimately, I created The Giver, and I shared it all with you.

And then…I waited…expecting Clarity to immediately pick me up, dust me off, and position me upright upon my once stable two feet. I waited…impatiently…and nothing happened. At least not immediately.

The day slowly faded and transitioned into the next, and I found my myself, and my thoughts, even more confused and muddied. Clarity, at this point, was a fleeting memory, a story of long ago, something I had possessed at one point in time but somehow lost along the way. Like losing a box in the midst of a move…you remember packing and handling it with care; but somehow, it’s vanished.

And so I prayed. I begged God to pour into me. I just needed the answers and I needed them from Him. I needed to know what His plans were for me. I needed to know how He planned to use me. I needed to know what my next steps would be and how I was to use my skills to enhance the lives of Sassy Sophisticates. Sassy, I needed to know what was next for me AND for you.

Remember, I’m The Creole Magnolia, the Inspiration Specialist, leader of the Sassy Sophisticate movement…my job is to inspire. Only one problem…I wasn’t feeling so inspirational.

So I prayed. I spoke to a friend. Tearfully and reluctantly, I shared with her how shaken I was. I doubted my talents and gifts. I even questioned my calling and my ability to get the job done. I thought to myself:

My Sassy Sophisticates need me and I need them. We need inspiration, and they depend on me to find it and to find it from within. So just get out of your head, Donloyn, and get this job done. The Sassy Sophisticate movement needs YOU!

While talking with my dear friend, I shared with her my prayer asking God to fill me up, telling Him I was an open vessel ready to receive. She was confident that by the end of the day not only would God fill me up but also I would be overflowing. If anyone was ready to overflow, it was me.

Moments later, the first testimony came in. My post, The Giver, was speaking to people and in such a profound way, a way that I had never expected.

Then came more shares and messages. Like this one:

“This is my Season…I <3 this! Donloyn LeDuff Gadson…what a piece! You just told my story!” PRM

 

My 11-year-old daughter shared with me the first few lines of a book she is writing. Yes, you read that correctly–And it was GOOD! She is serious about having it published and has asked for my help in doing so. Then I stumbled across two beautifully written poems in my 8-year-old twin boys’ school folders. Moments later, one of those boys informed me that he would like to start a book club for kids. This is not a mommy blog; however, mentioning my children is quite fitting in this instance because I even began receiving confirmation through them. Yes, my children were speaking to me. It was as if they were saying, “Mom, we hear you. You’re inspiring us, too. Keep on inspiring. You’re doing good.”

 

And then came a testimony so grand it brought tears to my eyes.

Confirmation

Donloyn Gadson, I hope u don’t mind but I have put pic of ur tree on my locker next to my “Award for being the greatest Mom” that my son made for me. Your blog ministered to me in a great way. I put the tree on my locker as a reminder of who I am, as a giver to my family, co-workers, patients, friends and everyone else in my life BUT more importantly as a reminder of how great a Giver my Father God is. And that even when I rejected Him, He still loved me in my mess and gave His one and only Son as the best gift ever, for a daughter that He waited on patiently, to return to Him!…This Word that God gave u is going to travel and reach farther than u will ever know! It will be the catalyst God uses to heal, deliver and to set His people free. 
Your pic is no longer on my locker. It was up there for maybe 30 minutes. My co-worker has it now along with a copy of the message that came with it. I wanted to share, I mean how cud I hold on to life changing Words and not give them away (I guess that’s part of The Giver in me) She carefully read the Words, asked if she cud have a copy and said that God had just given her revelation, with tears in her eyes. I know that she too will have to share this great Word just as I did! God bless you sis! Be ready for when the testimonies begin to pour in!  LG

 

And then…a few days later…I won this!

 

MeandAward

MyAward

First Runner Up in the 2013 Charleston Multicultural Bridal & Events Association Awards for Best Blogger!

I was humbled, honored and, again, reminded.

After receiving all of the Confirmations, my Trust is being renewed, rebuilt and restored, and I am beginning to ease into a Newfound Clarity. And for that, I am truly thankful.

~

How has your Clarity recently been restored? Inspire us in the comments below!

Embracing Self and Accepting Permission

Apparently, I was correct in concluding that I feel uncomfortable with shifting my focus onto Self. So uncomfortable, in fact, that it caused me to begin to feel pulled back towards the very thing I am trying to escape…a complicated plate filled with things that don’t fuel my passions.

For those who have been following along, this concept of truly putting my goals and aspirations first threw me so off balance that I haven’t been able to find the words, yet I have been immersed in thought. I haven’t blogged for 9 days, yet I’ve been drowning in words and lost in emotion. Crazy, right? Surrounded by words, but unable to use them? So much for the 30 day blog challenge.

But, I am not going to allow my failed attempt to blog for 30 days straight cause me to end my journey for Clarity. I am simply going to pick up where I left off and try to make some sense of this confusion. I’m going to try to give myself permission to be selfish.

To be successful, you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don’t Isolate. ~Michael Jordan

In addition to being selfless to a fault, I seem to have trouble accepting my limitations. My dear friend Angie, who is also on a similar quest for Clarity, read a quote to me about accepting your limitations. It immediately triggered my control response, and my first thought was if I accept my limitations, then I am no longer in control and must wave the white flag of capitulation. It will be as if I have surrendered…become conquered and defeated. Imagine that…A Selfless Control Freak! Such an oxymoron.

And, now that I’m thinking about it (because, I am completely free-styling this blog post), maybe I did do exactly what I said I would do in my last post. I Sat with Myself in the weird place of Awkwardness & Discomfort. I really did. It’s not important that I didn’t blog each day. What’s important is that I continued to focus on my journey. I continued to focus on gaining Clarity. I wrestled with my thoughts and emotions. I allowed myself to be pulled back and forth, to and fro. And that’s truly all that matters.

In the past 9 days, I have come face-to-face with fear, anxiety, emotional turbulence and the like. I have come to grips with what I have to do, and have realized that sometimes there is a distinct difference between what you want to do and what you choose to do. In a way, maybe that is me accepting my limitations. It is also me realizing that in order to grow and move toward something better, you have to be willing to let go of some things in the here and now. You have to be willing to sacrifice the things that can be perceived as good in order to gain that which is great.

There is nothing bad about the freelance jobs and projects that I am involved with…nothing bad about them, at all. They just simply do not serve any purpose when it comes to furthering my dreams and goals for my business. They just happen to not be good for me.

I believe they may also be a crutch, an excuse, a way to hide my fear…Fear of transitioning, transforming, changing and growing.

So, right here, today, I give myself permission…Permission to be selfish. Permission to accept my limitations. Permission to feel out-of-control. Permission to let go and grow. Permission to be fearful without being paralyzed. And, yes, even Permission to skip a blog post.

“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.” ~Bill Cosby

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Embrace your true Self and all the Creativity & Inspiration that lies within.
~The Creole Magnolia
(Artist: Jerod AleXander Davies)

Sometimes Life isn’t about finding your voice, finding yourself, or finding your passion. Sometimes Life is just about giving yourself Permission to use what already Exists Within. However, in order to that, you must Embrace Self and Accept the Permission that has been granted.

 

 

 

Recognizing the Chaos & Calling It Out!

This is day 3 of my 30 day journey to find Clarity, embrace Simplicity and get back to the Basics.

In my last 2 posts, I have tiptoed around what truly lies behind my quest. Perhaps that’s part of the process. I’ve been in denial for so long, that now I’m almost fearful to publicly admit the truth. So here it is…in a “not-so” nut shell.

I have been blessed with a husband, 8 children, artistic talent, career goals and aspirations. (Yes…I did just say eight children!) As a result, I wear many hats. I am a wife, a mother, a floral designer, a writer, a business owner, a daughter, a sister and a friend. Regardless of how much I long for one, there’s never a still moment.

I’ve never been one to use marriage and motherhood as an excuse to place my personal dreams on hold. In fact, I’ve always used it to fuel my passions…to ignite my creative spark. I want my children to see their mother as a woman who is loyal, strong, driven and passionate–A woman who can be fully present for them, as well as continue to develop as an individual. And I want my husband to be proud of my accomplishments and rejoice in my endeavors, knowing that he has a wife who lives life on purpose. After all, he married me for the person I am, and I’m certain he would want me to be true to my uniqueness, always.

My plate is larger than most, and it is always full. And there are certain things that just cannot be removed. My husband and children have a permanent position on my platter; they’re supposed to, and I like it that way. My floral design business, this blog and my quest to move from being a writer to a published author all take prime real estate on that platter, as well. Anything else that requires my time and talents but does not assist me in moving forward in developing my brand is Chaos…sheer CHAOS!

NO CHAOS by alles-schlumpf

NO CHAOS by alles-schlumpf

At this stage of my business, I have diagnosed myself as having Starving Artist Syndrome. The treatment…freelance writing work, and lots of it. Honestly, too much of it. So much, in fact, that it consumes my time and talents, and I find myself laboring over obligations that have me feeling disconnected and uninspired. Let’s face it; these freelance jobs are designed to catapult the successes of the individuals for whom I do the work–not for my business.

I also seem to have this uncanny inability to say “No.” New projects and ventures are presented to me and I cannot, for the life of me, seem to say, “Thanks for thinking of me, but no.” And it’s not like they’re horrible mistakes…they’re actually wonderful opportunities…for someone else. For me, they are distractions that will only serve to deter me from my goals, steer me off course, and drown out my purpose.

Clarity is no new concept for me. I had recently moved away from doing all freelance work so that I could focus, intently, on growing my brand, Creole Magnolia Creations. Then slowly, I began adding more and more and more to my once manageable plate. Now, deadlines for the projects of others have taken precedence over my own commitments, and my mind has become bogged down and overloaded with the impossible burden of juggling it all.

This Chaos is paralyzing, as I have become stagnant in my purpose, and my ability to move forward has waned.

But, I see hope…

As someone with the need to always be in control, it takes courage for me to admit that I am overburdened and stressed. But I realize that a sliver of Simplicity is far more appetizing than a plate full of uncontrolled bedlam.

So this is me…fearlessly Recognizing the Chaos and Calling It Out!

Using this blog challenge to find Clarity, Simplicity and the Basics!

Using this blog challenge to find Clarity, Simplicity and the Basics!